Thursday....I'm Thinking Too Much

It is Thursday. Nothing too eventful about that, but for some reason, I have been in one of my "moods" today - thinking too much about the what could have beens, what weres and what might be coming. I get in these moods on occasion. This one has been prompted by a new bible study we are doing on the book "Chasing Daylight". It is a book about seizing each moment and making them as memorable and important as you can. The smallest moment can be life changing. It is pretty interesting, and has stirred my thoughts. The sermon last Sunday was very poignant. Pastor Randy asked the question, "If you were feeling called to do something, and you had no fear, what would you do?" It is a question I have been unable to put out of my mind because I am in a bit of a lull in my life. I'm not unhappy, not overly happy. Not doing anything too extraordinary or too dull. It makes me wonder how many moments I might be missing. I know I missed one the other day. Maiki had made me a Valentimes (as she calls them) card and brought it to show me. Well, being my usual obsessive self, I was busy doing something. She left it in the bathroom for me. I failed to notice it, and instead noticed something (that I of course cannot now remember) that she had not picked up, or not done. I went down to her room set on discussing this with her. She asked me if I saw the card and instead, I was intent on being mad and I missed that moment with her. I went upstairs later and read the card. It was so sweet and she had obviously taken a great deal of time doing it. So, I went back down, woke her up, and told her I loved it. She appreciated the late effort, but I definitely screwed that one up. So, here I am in my lull, wondering what else I am missing. Everyday, I wonder what I am missing with my kids or in general. I like my job, but it is not my life and it never will be. Am I wasting time? Should I be doing something else? Anyway, it has been bothering me a LOT to say the least. Just thought I would share my thoughts with whoever is bored enough to read.

On another note, Brian's trial starts next week and we are all waiting to exhale from that whole ordeal. I know God has a plan for all of this and hopefully it will involve Angie finding happiness soon. She has seen so much sorrow lately.